On a Bender
by Angie J Trifid
Summary: AH/Woody's Roundup AU. Buzz has been drinking lately, and Woody's determined to find out why, but it's probably got something to do with another guy courting Jessie. Talk of Buzz/Jessie. One-shot


**A/N: another fanfic set in a **_**Woody's Roundup**_** AU, this time because when I was looking up cowboy slang, I found the phrase "off on a bender" and I liked it. Originally there was more but overall I preferred this ending**

**Also, I'm going to write a **_**Woody's Roundup**_** fanfic in which they made a movie. Just thought I'd let you know**

* * *

**On a Bender**

_"These loving arms will hold you through your darkest hour. I'll be using all my power so I can reach you; oh my love, don't give up on us." ~ Don't Give Up on Us _by Sarah McLachlan

Woody could honestly say that never, ever, ever, ever, _ever_ in his life had he _ever_ imagined opening his front door in the middle of the night to find Katie, one of the local saloon girls, looking distressed and saying, "Come quick, Sheriff! It's Buzz!"

He grabbed his boots and his badge and headed out. "What about him?"

"He's been off on a bender all night! No-one knows what's gotten into him. Bartender Bill sent me over to get you."

"Alright," Woody said, picking up his pace. "It's that bad, huh?"

Buzz was the polar opposite of a lightweight. Something must be very wrong if he was getting so drunk they had to send for help.

Katie nodded. "He came in and ordered our strongest drink. We thought he'd been challenged to see how much he could handle at first, but he just wouldn't stop!"

Woody grunted noncommittally. Something must be _very_ wrong.

When they got to the bar, Woody realised just how bad it was.

Buzz, who usually wore a grand mariachi-like outfit, sat at the bar in a work shirt and a pair of Levis. He hadn't shaved or combed his hair and sat with his head in his hands, drinking steadily, his eyes dull. He looked a mess.

Quickly, Woody thanked Bartender Bill for sending Katie out to get him, and made Buzz get up and go home. Buzz could hardly walk, being half seas over, and Woody was all but carrying him. He managed to get Buzz into his own bed and decided to stay overnight downstairs, to interrogate Buzz in the morning.

* * *

He woke up to some very loud groaning and smirked to himself, standing up. _Sounds like Buzz is awake,_ he thought, heading upstairs and standing in the doorway. Buzz was sitting up in his bed, holding his head like he was in agony.

"How you feelin', buddy?"

"Hung-over," was all Buzz seemed able to say.

"I'm not surprised. You were drinking pretty heavily."

Woody left the room to make some coffee and let Buzz get dressed, but Buzz came downstairs in the same clothes as before. Woody gave him the coffee and said, "Okay, what's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Buzz grumbled, glaring at his coffee.

"If you don't, I _will_ make a loud noise."

"You wouldn't."

Woody calmly got up, walked into the kitchen, and returned with a frying pan in each hand. "Start talking, Lightyear."

Buzz sighed heavily, took a large gulp of coffee and said, "It's Jessie."

Woody wanted to mention that sometimes knowing Jessie made him want to drink too, but he had a feeling that Buzz meant it in a different context, so he just huffed and said, "When isn't it?"

"No, you don't get it."

"I think I do." Woody set the frying pans down and said, "We all know you're mad about her. You know I'm not down on it; in fact, you have my blessing. And she hasn't given you the mitten, because she really likes all that soft solder you keep givin' her. So it must be that guy who's stopping at the hotel for a week."

"Juan," Buzz said bitterly.

Woody understood now. Juan had blown into town from Mexico a couple of days ago and, like Buzz, had taken a shine to Jessie. Out-of-towners often did. Jessie didn't seem to realise it, but Buzz appeared to see Juan as a rival for Jessie's affections, and vice versa.

Buzz had kept up the soft solder he'd given her since the day they'd met, telling her how pretty she was and encouraging her rope work (she was great at throwing a lasso but sometimes thought she could do better), but Juan had taken it a step further, constantly telling her how lovely she would look in certain clothes, places or scenarios. In all honesty, it creeped Woody out and he didn't think Jessie liked it too much, either.

Buzz usually got Jessie flowers a couple of times a week, once on a Monday or Tuesday (Woody knew Jessie preferred getting them on a Tuesday. She liked all the days, but Tuesdays to her were 'Monday Number Two' because she didn't usually get much sleep on Monday nights, so Mondays and Tuesdays tended to blur together for her and getting the flowers on a Tuesday always cheered her up). Usually nothing fancy, and always a bouquet he had bought from Flower Flora, a local woman who sold flowers. If Jessie was feeling particularly down, he would ask Flora if he could cut a few roses, too. Juan, though, had been paying ridiculous amounts of money to have grand bouquets of flowers sent to Jessie twice a _day_. Woody genuinely thought it got on Jessie's nerves.

Buzz and Jessie could regularly be seen together, and although they weren't _technically_ a couple yet, they were generally thought of as one by everyone else in town. They worked together, too, so they had a good reason to be together during the day. Juan just followed her around.

If Buzz wanted to see Jessie alone, he knew he could always just ask her, although sometimes he would say he needed help with something (and occasionally he'd break something on purpose. Woody hadn't told Buzz yet that she knew he did it) and every so often Woody would help. Jessie didn't seem to want to be alone with Juan, and the time he'd tried saying he needed help with something, she sent Woody.

It was _far_ less often than the flowers, but if Jessie _really liked_ something, like a certain watch, or a particularly nice shirt, and that one time she'd needed a new pair of boots, Buzz would buy it for her as a present. He usually got something for Woody too – a cool hat when he sent Jessie the watch, a jacket when he'd bought the shirt, and a new gun complete with belt and ammunition (considering, as Buzz had said, he had already splurged on the boots, he had decided he may as well pay up for the extra stuff) – to even it up a bit and make it seem like he was just being a thoughtful friend. The Pride siblings sometimes got Buzz presents in return, but they both knew he was mostly buying things for Jessie because he wanted to. The previous day, though, Jessie had looked vaguely appraisingly at a dress and Juan had bought it for her.

"He's powerful rich," Woody commented. "But don't take on so."

"Why not?" Buzz asked, his face in his hands. Woody wasn't sure whether it was from the hangover or because he was upset.

"How about the fact that yesterday Jessie said to me, 'That Juan thinks he's a real big bug, but he's just full of blow'. Now does that sound like what she'd say if she liked him?"

Buzz glanced up. "I guess not."

"Exactly. He wants to get her, but it all come a cropper thanks to you."

"Honest?"

"You're not actually asking me that, are you? You know how much she likes you, right?"

"Of course, but I tend to doubt myself."

Woody slapped his own forehead. Why did people always doubt themselves?

"Alright, I'll let you think whatever," he said.

"Gee, thanks," Buzz muttered sarcastically. "Woody, I know Jessie isn't too impressed with Juan, but what if he _does_ win her over? I don't think I could take it."

"That's why you were drinking last night?"

Buzz shrugged. And Woody picked up the frying pans before.

"Answer me."

"I hate you," Buzz muttered, but Woody knew he didn't really mean it. "Yesterday, when he bought her that dress and said she should wear it to the fandango they're having next week, and she said she might…"

"Yeah, I asked her about that. She said she was only going if you were, too."

"She did?"

"Uh-huh. She also said that if Juan doesn't back off, he'll get the mitten."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Now come on." Without dropping the frying pans, Woody grabbed Buzz by the scruff of the neck and dragged him out of the house with the intention to present Buzz to Jessie and tell him to either give Juan the mitten _now_ or find an excuse to run him out of town.

And if she and Buzz didn't hurry up and get together _soon_, he was going to hit the both with the frying pans. He was getting fed up of this.

* * *

**A/N: translations (in order):**

_**Bender**_** – drunk**

_**Grand**_** – beautiful or excellent**

_**Half seas over**_** – drunk**

_**Down on**_** – opposed to**

_**To be given the mitten**_** – to be rejected by a lover**

_**Soft solder**_** – flattery**

_**Stop**_** – stay**

_**Powerful**_** – very**

_**Take on**_** – grieve**

_**Big bug**_** – important person, official or boss**

_**Blow**_** – boast or brag**

_**Come a cropper**_** – come to fail or ruin, or fall heavily**

_**Fandango**_** – from a Spanish word. It means a big party with lots of dancing and excitement. Suddenly I understand that lyric from **_**Bohemian Rhapsody**_**…**


End file.
